Thursday, October 21, 2010

A Journey of Self-Discovery+Improvement.

Shirley came over to Stellia's place recently and her place has eventually became the All The Single Cabin Crew Sanctuary. Despite the awfulness of the room.the mess.the roaches, I put up nights at her place as well to make myself feel less lonely(which I find useless as well).

So.

There goes my FIVE CONSECUTIVE day-offs. Well at least the third day was owhh-kay(Better, I mean) cuz Shirley and I talked to Aunty Elsie, the property lady, and I personally gained my drive to work like shit back. For the rest of my off-s, I felt as if everything that I did was wrong, meaningless.

I kept on wondering - What's wrong w/ me?
Enough said - I need a real new partner. No cheap dates please.

***

Mum's coming over. This. Is. Alarmingly. Crazy. I know that I sound like I'm a terrible person, or a terrible son, rather, but I am still not prepared for her arrival and getting my mum to stay at my place whatsoever and be the witness of my lifestyle. Her HOLINESS makes me feel like I'm a demon.

And I wonder if my mum(and my family) knows the real me. Would they still be the same? This has really been churning in my mind again and again and again. I realize I'd have to face this matter someday, by hook or by crook. Pity me, but I'd never give up.

Heading for Kaohsiung tomorrow. However, I somehow feel EMPTY, rather than ENERGISED+READY. Move on, Welister. Move on. Oughta change my mindset. I wish I had my ex's way of thinking.


'Ruin is the gift. Ruin is the gift for transformation of life.'
- Eat, Pray, Love.


You know you love me, xoxo.

P/s: And yes, Shirley, I am green w/ envy when you get to pick and choose while I get to dive and flap and... pick and choose. Spot the difference?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Low.

People tend to ask me questions. Sometimes, perhaps not because they're eager to give free counselling sessions/they care; it's because of their curiosity. And that's how news spread.

Awful night. With lemon vodka shots.
And I got super ugly.

xoxo.