Lots of incidents happened. Shitty ones, exhilirating ones. Tears, laughter.
Just a few days ago, I was confirmed of a post as a flight attendant for Cathay Pacific Airways. I was being offered the job weeks ago; and I signed the contract a couple of days before. It's been a while since I wanted to be based in foreign countries - anywhere, and work there, and gain as much experience as I can. So here comes my opportunity.
I'm gonna miss this place. My family. My besties. My memories. My reluctance - can be something that changes my mind before I hand in my resignation letter. Or even before I board the aircraft. All the love, the warmth that I have here... Will I be able to have the same thing in Hong Kong?
***
I still miss every single thing about my late father. Hrmmm. Particularly hate the word 'late' a lot, seriously. Not used to the word at all, still. Not applicable in my daily lives too. I miss Daddy very very much, especially when I am all alone, no matter at home - Kota Kemuning or Taman Connaught, during nightstops - hotel room or tourist spots, or even when I am at the cafeteria or in the cabin welcoming passengers. I am slowly, trying so hard to let go.
And when a wound heals, a tingling scar is left behind.
I'd really want to bring along my love ones, and that I wouldn't be so homesick abroad.
Dilemma.
Torn between personal goals and family, it's really hard to choose. I cry in the middle of the night sometimes, thinking how tough this decision is.
Mummy's been feeling unwell. Henny's graduating from high school soon. I have to achieve more for a better life for my family, yet that requires me to be far away from them...
"Dear God. I just want my love ones to be happy. Even if I have to trade in my happiness.
Is there any way that You can help me? Please?"
You know you love me, xoxo.