I'm Frozen. Insideout.

I hate doing nothing on off-days.

I was awake in the midnight, due to some noises out of my room, but whatever it was, I went back to sleep just in a short while after I woke up.

I felt cold. Air-cond remote control check: 21 degrees Celcius.

Again I woke up in my gloomy room full of darkness alone. Only rays of moonlight through the window and the lights from the living room could be seen on my bedroom door.

Pfft. Midnight depression syndrome.

Bounding for Beijing tomorrow. Weather forecast: Winter-1 degree Celcius.

Well I'm already frozen. Insideout. Xoxo.

Cowboy Cassanova.

Momma says, 'Pick a decent person to be the partner of your life.'

Ever since I was in primary school, my mum would always forbid me (and my sister, to be precise), to date anyone. Frankly speaking, my high school life was... boring? I'd never dated anyone out, until I met Thom when I was still working as a partime survey officer in KL and doing nursing course at the same time. There goes my first love.

So I think back.

How drastic my life has changed. From a smalltown boy who's inconfident of himself (As if I am now. *Rolliing eyes. Well at least I am less inconfident now.) to an independent person, I am glad that I've grown up. I quit my nursing course halfway through. I chose to pursue what I love. And I had chosen to be the way I am today.

Glad that I opened up to my sister. No regrets!

My past had taught me lessons to become a better person; and I don't wanna make the same mistake and fall in love with someone who would hurt me deeply again. However I got a feeling that I'm in deep trouble. MTFK.

Momma says, 'Pick a decent person to be the partner of your life.'

'He's a good time cowboy cassanova
leaning up against the record machine.

Looks like a cool drink of water
but he's candy-coated misery.

He's a devil in disguise, a snake w/ blue eyes,
and he only comes out at night.

Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight
you better run for your life.'

- Cowboy Cassanova by Carrie Underwood

You know you love me. xoxo.

Stop and Stare.

Life can be pretty boring if you're having day-offs and you're having no plans at all... Well at least I had a relaxing trip in Langkawi Island for the past three days; owhhkay so that makes four days down, six more days to slaughter.

I miss the seashore. The waves. The breeze. The waterfall. The sunset. It's amazing that I could finally just forget every crap that I had in Kuala Lumpur for a second.

And getting the chance to change my perception towards certain things, hold on to my persistence and well, learn from what I encountered.

*Taking a deep breath.

Hui and I had a talk while having supper the previous dawn. Girly talk which normally I won't really talk to anyone about: My previous hardship esp. money kachinggg issues before I got my job as a flight attendant, my crappy love life and also my family.

So. My conclusion was, it's not easy to have people w/ 101% sincerity in various things they do; from conducting good work ethics to maintaining relationship w/ partners to get along w/ friends. Also, not everyone in this world would understand+give a F on the things that they're dealing with.

People gossip, cheat on their partners and maximize the usage of their own friends. Oh yeah you bet, those are the crappy things that happened to me before. Gettin' over those? Frankly speaking I am still trying very hard here to just put them all behind and face them more maturedly. But how?

It takes time I guess.

*Another deep breath.

Headin' back to my hometown a.k.a. Sibu later. And do nothing. Gotta surprise my mum. =)